(A Business Soap Opera About Savings Pots, Starring You)
Picture this: It’s a normal Tuesday. You’re sipping coffee, closing a new client, humming the Friends theme tune. Life is good.
Then… BAM.
A wild VAT bill appears.
Suddenly you’re Ross screaming “We were on a break!” at your bank account because the cash you thought was yours? It belongs to HMRC now.
Enter the unsung hero of small business finance: Savings Pots.
Like Joey with pizza, savings pots don’t share — and that’s a very good thing when tax bills come knocking.
Let’s meet the full cast of savings pots your business needs — and the drama they save you from.
🟡 1. The VAT Pot (The Chandler of the group)
Catchphrase: “Could I be any more essential?”
Set aside: 20% of VAT-inclusive sales
Why: Because laughing at your own jokes won’t pay your VAT return. This pot keeps HMRC off your back and your cash flow drama-free.
🔵 2. The Corporation Tax Pot (Monica’s organised side)
Set aside: 19%–25% of net profit
Why: Corp tax has serious “shows up uninvited after 9 months” energy. You know it’s coming — save like Monica plans a dinner party: to perfection, with labels.
🟠 3. The PAYE/NI Pot (Rachel in her responsible arc)
Set aside: Based on salaries + employer NI
Why: You’re running payroll, not a fashion show at Ralph Lauren. Put the money aside before payday or risk going full Janice when HMRC calls: “Oh. My. God.”
🟢 4. The Owner’s Draw Pot (Joey’s fridge)
Set aside: Fixed amount or % of profits
Why: Joey never shares food. You never dip into random business funds. Keep your slice of the pie separate — and sacred.
🟣 5. The Emergency Fund Pot (Phoebe’s spiritual safety net)
Goal: 1–3 months of expenses
Why: When the universe throws curveballs (or your biggest client ghosts you), this pot sings Smelly Cat while covering your bills.
🔴 6. The Growth Pot (Joey’s acting career fund)
Set aside: 5–10% of profit
Why: Want to scale, hire, or launch that dream product? This pot funds your glow-up montage. Cue slow motion walking and strategic espresso shots.
🟡 7. The Dividends Pot (Ross, but more reliable)
Why: Dividends are sexy until they mess with your retained earnings. This pot keeps things tidy and stops you from yelling “PIVOT!” at your accounts every tax year.
🔵 8. The Pension Pot (Gunther-level loyalty to future you)
Set aside: Your monthly/quarterly contribution
Why: Sure, you’re not retiring now — but one day you’ll want to drink cocktails without checking your bank balance. Future you says thanks. Gunther-style.
Bonus Pots (For Plot Twists)
📦 Stock Pot: For when you realise you forgot to reorder product (again).
📅 Annual Bills Pot: For insurance, software, or your accountant’s invoice (hi).
📈 Tax Planning Pot: For strategy sessions that save you more than they cost.
🎬 Closing Scene: The Central Perk of Planning
Setting up savings pots won’t win you an Emmy, but it will give you financial peace, fewer panic attacks, and a business that runs smoother than a Joey pickup line.
✅ Open separate pots or sub-accounts
✅ Transfer money in monthly (or after every payment)
✅ Sleep better knowing your cash is where it needs to be
And if all of this still feels overwhelming, I’m here — your tax-planning Monica, ready with spreadsheets and strategy. No judgment, no Janice-level chaos.
Just you, your business, and a whole lot more calm.
